Pirates and global warming

According to his Noodliness, pirates are "absolute divine beings" and the original Pastafarians (human pastafarians, penguins being the first living). Their image as "thieves and outcasts" is misinformation spread by Christian theologians in the Middle Ages and by Hare Krishnas. They were in fact "peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will" who distributed candy to small children, and modern pirates are in no way similar to "the fun-loving buccaneers from history" (Make sure to celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19). Ghost pirates are also believed to be responsible for all the mysterious lost ships and planes of the Bermuda Triangle.

The great Prophet, Henderson, illustrated that correlation does in fact imply causation. We put forth the argument that "global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of pirates since the 1800s." An accompanying chart shows that as the number of pirates decreased, global temperatures increased. .
Church goers have further interpreted the growing pirate activities at the Gulf of Aden as an additional empirical support, pointing out that Somalia has "the highest number of Pirates AND the lowest Carbon emissions of any country."

This has nothing to do with the flying spaghetti monster but enjoy

Sightings

The Flying Spaghetti monster

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the deity of the religion the Church of the flying Spaghetti monster or pastafarianism.  His Noodliness is the creator and Overseer, watching our lives and our world, changing them as he sees fit, by use of his most holy noodly appendage.  


     Incredibly, this ancient religion was not well-known until its rediscovery in 2005 by graduate student, Bobby Henderson.  Due to this incredible rebirth, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is now one of the world's most edible and fastest-growing religions


.
























The Flying Spaghetti monster is only refferd to as a MONSTER because of his distincly non-human form, we were definently not created in his image.




The major Pastaer is the part of the Flying Monster which allows it to fly,  this makes it able to span infinite distances in infinitesimal spans of time.  This part is irreducibly complex, hyper real and cannot be broken down into components. Doing so – if it were even possible, and it isn't – would incur the wrath of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It is proven by this series of math-like squiggles:

The original formula revealed to Pastafarian scholars did not include the butter and toastelement, which is necessary to relate kittens to antigravity. The Flying Spaghetti Monster inspired this revision one day when He skipped breakfast.

• The Spaghetti Monster: This is commonly recognized as the "body" of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and, unlike its other major counterpart, is composed of several smaller sections. These are called the Minor Pastaer.

 The Minor Pastaer

• The Meatera: It is a symbol of strength and fortitude. This is the source of the Flying Spaghetti Monster's power.
• The Spaghettien: Proceeds from the Meatera. Also known as the "Noodly Appendage," this allows for the Flying Spaghetti Monster to extend its grasp across the reaches of the universe, affecting everything and anything.
• The Saucon: Issues forth from the Meatara and the Spaghettien. This is the veil of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Through this, it is unseen and intangible, but allows it to affect anything and everything at will. There is a great deal more documentation on this phenomenon, but I wish to keep this section from being too lengthy.

Most of this info can be found on Uncyclopedia